Daughter
My daughter enjoys two things. 1) watching Elmo 2) watching me doing Chen Taiji. I'm not sure what it is when I do Taiji but she gets really excited watching me do this especially if I turn on classical Chinese music which uses the flute and harp. Every time my daughter hears my voice or sees me after an absence of a few hours, she jumps up in joy (as much as 10 month baby can). She gets so excited and makes all kinds of wild motions. It reminds me of how puppies I used to have greeted me with such love and joy. The baby's mother says that, "To say that she loves you is an understatement ... she does not even get that excited to see me."
When I was a kid, my mother often play with my youngest brother but often ignore me. She would come home at night late from work and come into our room to say goodnight to my brother, spending a few minutes to tell him how much she loved him and played with him. I was on the other bed on the other side of the room listening to this. After she finished with my brother, I would yell out to my mom for affection, but she would ignore me and said she had to go to sleep. She would come home every night and do this. Even during the day, she refused to let me hug her or hold her. Every time I tried, she would get repulsed and push me away making the excuse, "I am dirty." I said, "I don't care. I just want a hug." She would say, "No." She occasionally told me she loved me but I never sensed sincerity in her words. It seemed that she would say this out of guilt for neglecting me. When she felt she neglected me too much, she would tell me she loved me but she never looked me in the eye when she said this and she looked very tense and uncomfortable every time she said it. She often problem giving my younger brother lots of love and affection right in front of my face. In fact, every time I try to have a conversation with my brother and we would have fun, she would interrupt me constantly to get his attention. It was almost as if she was jealous of me getting his attention.
Ever since I was a little kid, I swore to myself that I would raise my child totally different from the way I was raised by my parents. I swore that I would give my child love and support and treat her as a human being. My father used to say that I didn't have the right to criticize him as a parent until I have my own children. Well I have my own child now, and she reacts to me much different than his children to him. My baby's mother says that I am the best father in the world. That may be an exaggeration but I am proud of being a good father to my child.
When I was a kid, my mother often play with my youngest brother but often ignore me. She would come home at night late from work and come into our room to say goodnight to my brother, spending a few minutes to tell him how much she loved him and played with him. I was on the other bed on the other side of the room listening to this. After she finished with my brother, I would yell out to my mom for affection, but she would ignore me and said she had to go to sleep. She would come home every night and do this. Even during the day, she refused to let me hug her or hold her. Every time I tried, she would get repulsed and push me away making the excuse, "I am dirty." I said, "I don't care. I just want a hug." She would say, "No." She occasionally told me she loved me but I never sensed sincerity in her words. It seemed that she would say this out of guilt for neglecting me. When she felt she neglected me too much, she would tell me she loved me but she never looked me in the eye when she said this and she looked very tense and uncomfortable every time she said it. She often problem giving my younger brother lots of love and affection right in front of my face. In fact, every time I try to have a conversation with my brother and we would have fun, she would interrupt me constantly to get his attention. It was almost as if she was jealous of me getting his attention.
Ever since I was a little kid, I swore to myself that I would raise my child totally different from the way I was raised by my parents. I swore that I would give my child love and support and treat her as a human being. My father used to say that I didn't have the right to criticize him as a parent until I have my own children. Well I have my own child now, and she reacts to me much different than his children to him. My baby's mother says that I am the best father in the world. That may be an exaggeration but I am proud of being a good father to my child.
posted by tarzan at 11:02 PM
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